Late last night Seth and I were talking about how crazy it is that Christmas has already come and gone. While we were quietly pondering the situation I had an overwhelming longing for the end of this world. As I stared off down the street and at the Christmas lights, I felt like I was in a place I didn't belong...like this world was not my home.
I was consumed with the notion that we were not made for the anxious feelings of having to work on Monday, or being away from our loved ones for extended periods of time beyond our control. Although we live in a free country, are we? What is so freeing about working for money so you can purchase food to feed your family that you barely get to spend time with? We were not made for this.
For the first time, I knew what Christmas was about. There is nothing definitive in the Bible that tells us when Jesus was actually born, although you can get close by studying the Jewish and Hebrew calendars and by reading the chapter of Luke. Christmas is not so much about the actual birth of Christ, or when, but WHY.
Jesus was born in our world for the sole purpose of delivering us from sin. He was, and is, the perfect example of a sinless being, and yet he was put to death. I cannot do the justice of explaining how incredible a gift this was, and is, for all of us. Every day millions of people are in desperation and hopelessness... if they could only see the God that could save them.
I lay in my bed last night praying, and tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt a true remorse for the things I had done in my life, and a real desire to be with my Savior. It was the first time since I was saved that the Spirit had filled me like that, and the only time that I had longed so deeply to be with God.
I pray that the feeling will never leave me, and that the Spirit will continually fill me. I am not sad to be here with my loved ones. I am just hopeful for Christ's return, and his establishment on this earth as Lord. I am anxious for every knee to bow, and every tongue to confess that He is Lord of all.
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Kristy,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this. It shows a vulnerability that I'm sure the Lord loves about you. Keep speaking and living the truth and you will continue to get closer and closer to Him. I have had that same feeling many times, but not as profound. I long to be with Him, too, and desperately want my family to find Him soon.
I am so happy for you that you have lost all desire to watch scary movies. I pray that the day comes soon when everyone feels that way! Good for you.
I am looking forward to getting to know you more and seeing what the Lord will do as we "Call to Him" and see what great and mighty things He will reveal to us.
~Melissa