My blog has moved!! If you want to keep up.. go here: http://themappsquest.wordpress.com/
See you there!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Rinse, Wash, Repeat
I got another opportunity to share my testimony tonight, and I realized some things. At the time I was saved, my life was 'perfect'. I had a wonderful husband, a cutie patootie little munchkin, a house, a good job, a cool car, and extra shopping money. Yet, something was missing. Every day I would come home feeling like I was stuck in a never ending cycle of normal-ness.. like a whirlpool that is getting smaller and smaller.
Wake up. Eat breakfast. Take E to daycare. Go to work. Eat lunch. Work. Pick E up from daycare. Make dinner. Eat dinner. Give E bath. Watch TV. Go to bed. Over, and over, and over, and over, and over again...every day. I lived for the weekends, although, by the time the weekend came around, I was too tired from the week to do anything. I had a small passion for making artwork, and occasionally sewing. None of this really did the trick.
The days after I was saved a whole new world opened to me. I started reading the Bible, and listening to sermons, and Christian radio. Suddenly I had something to live for that I couldn't control... God. What a relief that is! Usually when things are outside of our control we think of them as bad. But what if you knew that the thing you couldn't control only wanted good for you? What if every day turned into a surprise?
That is exactly what has happened! Not only has God given me something to look forward to, but He gave me a new passion: photography. (Not to mention writing) It is so awesome to start talking to someone about anything, and then find out that they, too, are in a relationship with the Lord. I truly do have 'brothers' and 'sisters' all over the world. We have something in common that cannot be explained. How exciting is that?!
My day still looks exactly the same, but throw in some great conversation, and learning, and teaching, and now it feels totally different. The weekends are packed with photo shoots and scripture.. and much awaited family time. I love my family more, and pretty much everyone around me.
God has also opened my heart to others. When I look around at the people that pass by I wonder what they are doing instead of making fun of their hair. Most importantly, I am able to talk to people and see their inner selves. I can connect on a deeper level. Nothing is more exciting to me now than finding out if the person I am talking to is walking with the Lord. If they are, great! We could talk for hours.. if not.. I will be praying for them later.
I wish I could let you sample what only God can show you... but alas.. that is up to you. Until you open your heart to Christ, you will never know the peace of just living. When bad things befall you, God is there to make it right, and teach you why it happened. And when the good times come, they are oh so much better than you can imagine.
I have pondered and pondered about how to explain the feeling that comes from the Spirit... but truly it is impossible. I pray that you will one day see what I have only begun to understand. It has already been a year since I was saved, and my learning and understanding of God's nature and our purpose in this world has just begun. What a ride it has been.. I can't wait to see what comes next!
But as it is written:
“ Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”
1 Corinthians 2:9
If you want to read my testimony, or share yours, please visit this blog I started just for that purpose: http://gracebesaved.wordpress.com/
I have already gotten one other testimony that I know will bless anyone that reads it.. I implore you!
***
Wake up. Eat breakfast. Take E to daycare. Go to work. Eat lunch. Work. Pick E up from daycare. Make dinner. Eat dinner. Give E bath. Watch TV. Go to bed. Over, and over, and over, and over, and over again...every day. I lived for the weekends, although, by the time the weekend came around, I was too tired from the week to do anything. I had a small passion for making artwork, and occasionally sewing. None of this really did the trick.
The days after I was saved a whole new world opened to me. I started reading the Bible, and listening to sermons, and Christian radio. Suddenly I had something to live for that I couldn't control... God. What a relief that is! Usually when things are outside of our control we think of them as bad. But what if you knew that the thing you couldn't control only wanted good for you? What if every day turned into a surprise?
That is exactly what has happened! Not only has God given me something to look forward to, but He gave me a new passion: photography. (Not to mention writing) It is so awesome to start talking to someone about anything, and then find out that they, too, are in a relationship with the Lord. I truly do have 'brothers' and 'sisters' all over the world. We have something in common that cannot be explained. How exciting is that?!
My day still looks exactly the same, but throw in some great conversation, and learning, and teaching, and now it feels totally different. The weekends are packed with photo shoots and scripture.. and much awaited family time. I love my family more, and pretty much everyone around me.
God has also opened my heart to others. When I look around at the people that pass by I wonder what they are doing instead of making fun of their hair. Most importantly, I am able to talk to people and see their inner selves. I can connect on a deeper level. Nothing is more exciting to me now than finding out if the person I am talking to is walking with the Lord. If they are, great! We could talk for hours.. if not.. I will be praying for them later.
I wish I could let you sample what only God can show you... but alas.. that is up to you. Until you open your heart to Christ, you will never know the peace of just living. When bad things befall you, God is there to make it right, and teach you why it happened. And when the good times come, they are oh so much better than you can imagine.
I have pondered and pondered about how to explain the feeling that comes from the Spirit... but truly it is impossible. I pray that you will one day see what I have only begun to understand. It has already been a year since I was saved, and my learning and understanding of God's nature and our purpose in this world has just begun. What a ride it has been.. I can't wait to see what comes next!
But as it is written:
“ Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”
1 Corinthians 2:9
If you want to read my testimony, or share yours, please visit this blog I started just for that purpose: http://gracebesaved.wordpress.com/
I have already gotten one other testimony that I know will bless anyone that reads it.. I implore you!
***
Sunday, January 30, 2011
In the down times...
Over this past month, I have sat down in front of my computer many times to write something uplifting for you all to read. I start writing, and sit there staring at the monitor.. then I give up, and erase the whole thing. This month has been full of everything I dread; hatred, lies, despair, concern, envy, jealousy, gossip, stress.. all of it.
I started feeling depressed last Friday. I just didn't feel like doing anything, or being happy, or anything. The weekend went by way too fast, and then Monday came upon me. The stress level at work was unbearable, but some how I made it through. That night I went to bed at 7:30.. I just couldn't bear to be awake any longer. I wanted to shut the door and be alone, and unconscious, and away from everything.
The next day Seth told me he could tell something was wrong, tho I didn't express any worry. Tuesday was worse than Monday at work. The tension was so thick you literally could have cut it with a knife. My co-worker and I were desperately trying to get everything in order for a meeting on Wednesday. It seemed like every time we turned around there was something else that needed to be done, and the work pile was closing in around us.
Wednesday was the climax of the work load, but thankfully we managed to get prepared, and steadied ourselves for the meeting... tho it didn't go quite as expected. Thursday morning was the climax of the stress that had been building, and the mirage of being free from it was smashed into tiny bits. I almost quit my job. I won't go into too much detail, but I will tell you that my patience was tested, and I wanted to lash out and literally hurt someone. It was the worst I had ever been made to feel.
I spent most of Thursday morning crying like a toddler who had been told "no" and sent to their rooms. It was that uncontrollable cry that makes you sound like you are hyperventilating. After a 3 hour stand off between boss and employees, it came to a close and everyone 'acted' like nothing ever happened. I was scarred non the less.. and it showed.
Through it all though there has been a constant: God. I have continued reading my Bible daily, listening to sermons at work when I can, praying, and thanking God for all he is doing in mine and my family's life. I just kept thinking to myself that there must be a reason for why all of this is happening. I have been tested, and am in the process of a slow molding of character. I couldn't help but think of God thru that entire stressful process, and asking him for his guidance and wisdom. What a difference it made, too!
Last year at this time, if this had happened, I would have quit on the spot. It is hard to stand still, and take it all in, but that is what I must do to learn what God is doing in my life. I will let him lead me. Even now that the week, from you know where, is over, I am seeing the good that came from it all... and I know that there is more to learn from it.
I now see that the depression beforehand was somewhat of a buffer to ease me into the storm that was approaching. God is good, and he has my back. And, amid all the bad, there were moments of satisfaction, and thankfulness. I hope that when hard times come your way that you will lean on God for strength... it was and is the only thing that has gotten me thru the down times.
***
I started feeling depressed last Friday. I just didn't feel like doing anything, or being happy, or anything. The weekend went by way too fast, and then Monday came upon me. The stress level at work was unbearable, but some how I made it through. That night I went to bed at 7:30.. I just couldn't bear to be awake any longer. I wanted to shut the door and be alone, and unconscious, and away from everything.
The next day Seth told me he could tell something was wrong, tho I didn't express any worry. Tuesday was worse than Monday at work. The tension was so thick you literally could have cut it with a knife. My co-worker and I were desperately trying to get everything in order for a meeting on Wednesday. It seemed like every time we turned around there was something else that needed to be done, and the work pile was closing in around us.
Wednesday was the climax of the work load, but thankfully we managed to get prepared, and steadied ourselves for the meeting... tho it didn't go quite as expected. Thursday morning was the climax of the stress that had been building, and the mirage of being free from it was smashed into tiny bits. I almost quit my job. I won't go into too much detail, but I will tell you that my patience was tested, and I wanted to lash out and literally hurt someone. It was the worst I had ever been made to feel.
I spent most of Thursday morning crying like a toddler who had been told "no" and sent to their rooms. It was that uncontrollable cry that makes you sound like you are hyperventilating. After a 3 hour stand off between boss and employees, it came to a close and everyone 'acted' like nothing ever happened. I was scarred non the less.. and it showed.
Through it all though there has been a constant: God. I have continued reading my Bible daily, listening to sermons at work when I can, praying, and thanking God for all he is doing in mine and my family's life. I just kept thinking to myself that there must be a reason for why all of this is happening. I have been tested, and am in the process of a slow molding of character. I couldn't help but think of God thru that entire stressful process, and asking him for his guidance and wisdom. What a difference it made, too!
Last year at this time, if this had happened, I would have quit on the spot. It is hard to stand still, and take it all in, but that is what I must do to learn what God is doing in my life. I will let him lead me. Even now that the week, from you know where, is over, I am seeing the good that came from it all... and I know that there is more to learn from it.
I now see that the depression beforehand was somewhat of a buffer to ease me into the storm that was approaching. God is good, and he has my back. And, amid all the bad, there were moments of satisfaction, and thankfulness. I hope that when hard times come your way that you will lean on God for strength... it was and is the only thing that has gotten me thru the down times.
***
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