When I was going through confirmation at 14, we had an opportunity to speak with the pastor. There were about 10 of us, and we all gathered in a small meeting room, with the pastor. He told us we could ask him anything we had questions about regarding the Bible, God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. Everyone had there turns, and then it was mine. I can't remember exactly how I phrased the question, but this was the jist of it:
Supposedly Heaven is a paradise, where we will recognize eachother, and be ourselves, but follow and worship God. If we are going to be ourselves, but there is no sin (meaning nothing to rack our brains, or cause us to scientificaly judge eachother, or our actions), how will we be ourselves? How can someone who solves crimes for a living, and who loves their job of hunting down the criminal, be themselves, when there is no criminal to hunt?
The pastor starred at me. Everyone starred at me...like I was crazy. He kind of looked at me, pondered for a minute..then said, "Well, some things are left up to God to explain."
So, I never got my answer..and it is something that has plagued me for years. You see, I was never a person that wanted to go to church, nor did I have much interest in learning about God becuase it was forced on me. This small discussion group had confirmed my suspicions that when you got to Heaven, you were basically a slave, made to worship God. And that was definitly not on my adgenda. I was more interested in boys, moving far far away to college, and getting the heck out of there.
Well, as you have probably read in my previous posts..I have come to know Jesus. I have been soaking up all the knowledge that he will give me, and passing it on to you. I pray that it never ends. So back to the point.
One of the things that the Spirit has recently moved me to is an understanding (although it is small), of what Heaven will be like. I am an artist, photographer, "architect", interior designer, mother, wife, and general lover of life. What will my Heaven be like? There will be no big oil companies to build buildings for. There will be no runny noses to clean, or hands to hold when my baby is scared. I won't see a homeless man on the side of the road, sitting and smiling at the flowers to make me smile inside. What will the detective's Heaven be like? He won't have any criminals to keep his mind and heart racing.
Well, I have an idea. Instead of chasing a criminal to solve a crime, he will be trying to unlock the mysteries of all of God's creation. He will be studying the depths of His knowlege, and wondering how such a powerfull being came into existence. I will be constructing houses in God's kindom, and wiping the tears of joy from my child's face after he meets Jesus. And then we will hold hands as we run through the grass and see a spiritually wealthy man sitting and smiling at the flowers.
You see..God has helped me to realize that it is not sin that peeks our curiosity. It is happiness. The real reason the detective is hunting the criminal is to solve the crime. Then he can help the person the criminal harmed, making him satisfied in his work.
When you belive in Jesus, and the Spirit comes to dwell within you, you begin to realize a whole miriad of things that seemed impossible before. You realize that life is not worth living unless you have a true reason for living it. I am currently reading a book called "The Slumber of Christianity". It is full of ideas to help you get excited, and understand why you should be excited about your pass into the afterlife. Don't worry, when I finish the book, I will tell you all about it.
Just know that every time I think about being in Heaven I get a little butterfly of excitement in my stomach. The days of disbelief are over, and a new world of possiblities is opening for me. I can't wait to see Jesus in Heaven and thank him for teaching me how to truly appreciate the world around me as a foretaste of what is to come.
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